RIP Yoda

This post is not for the faint of heart.

Yoda. Before he was freed.

We've fostered 8 kittens so far. Today I witnessed the second death. It was different; we had spent so much more time together than when it happened to the first kitten. Two weeks ago Yoda coughed up two long tapeworm segments. It was pretty nasty, so naturally I was fascinated. So I gave all of our animals deworming medicine. Yoda actually seemed to be doing better than the other two after that. But then after weighing them a week later I realized that they all weighed the same as when I got them three weeks ago. I took them to see the vet. They got more drugs. Padme and Jabba got better. Yoda stayed the same. I was really hopeful for him and he was sort of my favorite out of the three - he seemed to have a more loving disposition than the other two. But a few days ago he looked markedly worse. Henri noticed - I think he is better than me at noticing these things - perhaps he should be the doctor. So I started to give Yoda fluids. But he seemed to be giving up already. My coworker says that they can be fighters sometimes, and sometimes they just give up. I think Yoda gave up last night. I painfully watched him struggle to get up from the heating pad. I wrapped in him in a towel and made him comfortable. Perhaps the hardest part was watching him try to meow for - something, for help, for the end - and not hearing a sound, not being able to do anything. I now know what I think must be the worst feeling to have as a mother - helplessness. He toyed with my heart at 4am with optimistic movement. But when I woke at 8, I could see he was taking his last breaths. At least now I know he's in kitteh hvn.

Yoda is survived by:

His brother Jabba
His sister Padme (as long as she survives the vampire kitteh)
and of course, the usual crew, Kraken and Lucky.