Thursday, July 2, 2009

Conquering anxiety...

is a lifelong battle. Of course the therapists would tell me not to fight it, just to accept it and move on. But I'm a really combative person. Guess I'll have to work on that too. By the time I conquer OCD, I'll just be a perfect person all-around.

I never thought that moving or a change of scenery would initiate my concealed panic attacks. I just moved to College Station, and started my first vet school related class, and went from living with Henri to living by myself. I'm a little crazy right now. Now that I think of it, all of my worst obsessional episodes started with a similar change: moving to Austin for undergrad, moving back to Houston for the summer, starting Longhorn Band, studying abroad, moving to Port Aransas. I've always considered myself to be a nomadic person, but apparently moving stresses me out more than I thought. For such an introspective person, I really don't know myself that well. I'm getting better.

One thing that is keeping me human here is Ender. She is becoming a total sweetheart post ovary removal. This morning I put food out for her, but she just sat and stared at me until I laid down and snuggled with her for a few minutes. Then she ate.