Midterm Week

My motivation is cyclical and the bottom of the cycle tends to correlate with exam times. I did manage, I think, to fly by the seat of my pants in my history exam because I %^&*ing rock at essays. My brain just works that way. Multiple choice questions, however, capitalize on my tendency to overanalyze and be obsessive-compulsive.

I used to make really terrible grades and so I cower in fear that I am reverting to my old self. I think fear appears every semester. What I want to be true is that my success is binary and my zeros magically turned to 4.0s in 2006. Unfortunately I do not think this is the case.

It all comes back to the question, the rabbit hole I wander in, of how much I am and how much I think I am.

Water kitteh.

Top Ten Percent

feeding breathing eating
where brilliant minds are cast in silhouettes
feeding off each other but creating nothing.
divulging in the music but singing nothing.
hoping for proprietary compensation
access to another failed network
of brilliant minds expanding themselves in monotony.
content with being average with
reveling in the comfort of
resting in the shadows of
other brilliant minds.