Thursday, December 18, 2008

Flux of reality...

For me, coming into adulthood has two stages. The first part was regret - realization that things are not like they used to be, and ignorant longing to make them that way again. The lack of responsibility and ability to do bad things without the consequences - I wanted that back. I was somewhat sad. But I think I am mostly over that part. Now I am finding myself in the second stage: feeling comfortable in my own skin. I am not so much afraid anymore for backlashes of being truly Kristen, because I think the world needs more people like me, regardless of whether or not they want it. I had realized that life was always going to be hard in stage 1, but now I'm okay with it. Life would be pretty bland if it were never challenging. Like the holiday break - I pray all semester for it, then when it gets here, I find myself dreaming in a few days about the classes I am taking next semester. I see that love doesn't make marriage come easily, and I will have to work at it. But I am happy because I think I have the best person in the world to work at it with. Strangely, I look forward to all the hard, depressing, mundane things we will have to go through together. Because it will only make the short breaks of awesome better. And I am realizing that I always, always, always have to pursue the true, changing Kristen. Because you can't be awesome by just doing, it's the being that matters more.

I took Travis back to the shelter yesterday. I'm gonna miss the lil bugger...

Thursday, December 11, 2008

It's finals time...

which means that it's time for Kristen to torture herself for weeks, causing her to realize all of the bad habits and methods of procrastination she has ingrained into her daily life are destroying her ability to efficiently assimilate knowledge.

Kristen notices how she is talking in 3rd person and thinks about how often she updates her facebook status, and how hard it is to avoid starting to Twitter. What happened to our private lives? Why am I not bothered by this loss of privacy? I demonize Prez Bush for taking away my privacy, then turn around and display every move I make on the internet. And I love to do it.

Another mistake I made this week was saying I could work one day at EmanciPet, the day before my most important final. I don't think it's all that bad though, because if I just had myself to myself for a week straight studying the likelihood of insanity would be of immense proportions. It was an interesting day to say the least. This woman threatened to euthanize her dog at the end of the day because we didn't spay her, because her gums were practically white, she had a wheezing cough, and was creepily lethargic for an 8 month old puppy. So one of our vet techs convinced Psycho Cold-hearted Satan Woman to relinquish the dog to us. My co-workers never cease to impress me. We of course have our differences, but everyone I work with has an automatic disposition to saving the life of an animal. Without any thought or discourse. And they follow through. It's a beautiful thing, and sometimes makes me teary-eyed. Which is a pretty big deal when you're on Prozac.