Reasons Not to Get a Puppy

(get a dog instead)

1. morning face chomping
2. new ear piercings
3. cat weight loss (from running so much)
4. poop
5. poop
6. poop
7. poop on your backpack
8. urine in your suitcase
9. urine on your backpack
10. urine on your cat tent
11. urine in the bathtub (I can't even be mad about that one)
12. urine on the puppy's face, when she sticks it in another dog's stream
13. your socks are permanently a yellow shade
14. holes in the bottom of every single pair of pants you own
15. your water bowl doubles as a lap pool
16. your toilet bowl doubles as a diving pool
17. you fully understand the reason behind pet deposits
18. your puppy continuously uses the "outdoor button" aka door stop
19. she only uses the bathroom 30% of the time you respond to said button
17. she uses the bathroom inside 100% of the time you don't respond
18. your puppy barks the entire hour of puppy class
19. afterwards, the trainer asks you if you realize what you got yourself into
20. and you have to admit, yes, and we're really that stupid.

or lucky ;)




21.