Flux of reality...

For me, coming into adulthood has two stages. The first part was regret - realization that things are not like they used to be, and ignorant longing to make them that way again. The lack of responsibility and ability to do bad things without the consequences - I wanted that back. I was somewhat sad. But I think I am mostly over that part. Now I am finding myself in the second stage: feeling comfortable in my own skin. I am not so much afraid anymore for backlashes of being truly Kristen, because I think the world needs more people like me, regardless of whether or not they want it. I had realized that life was always going to be hard in stage 1, but now I'm okay with it. Life would be pretty bland if it were never challenging. Like the holiday break - I pray all semester for it, then when it gets here, I find myself dreaming in a few days about the classes I am taking next semester. I see that love doesn't make marriage come easily, and I will have to work at it. But I am happy because I think I have the best person in the world to work at it with. Strangely, I look forward to all the hard, depressing, mundane things we will have to go through together. Because it will only make the short breaks of awesome better. And I am realizing that I always, always, always have to pursue the true, changing Kristen. Because you can't be awesome by just doing, it's the being that matters more.

I took Travis back to the shelter yesterday. I'm gonna miss the lil bugger...